DUELING POETS!... RayCaptain vs Sparrow

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Sparrow, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    Descent

    a bottomless pit
    with a gentle slope
    a crow's prize
    a rusted bottle cap
    flicker of light
    neither sun or moon
    from ever blown
    the tempting breath
    against my ear
    what is death
    to a tombstone
    casting shadows at noon
    not left not right
    caught in the gap
    none hear my cries
    my kingdom for a rope
    and still I slip



    In case you didn't know it, RayCaptain, I just went avant garde on your ass.
     
  2. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    Dust my boots off, get'm sparkling like glass,
    Because I came here to stomp your ass,
    I was anticipating your post,
    But now I see this is just your roast...

    Right here and now, barbecue you down south style,
    Bite off more than you can chew, shut your mouth and smile,
    They're about to snap a photo for your viewing,
    Flapping your figurative jaws will be your undoing...

    It shows what kind of a man you really are, yes it does,
    Oh, to think, if you was just half the man your mom was,
    Ask me how I know, because I'll tell you who your daddy is,
    Keep on, I'll give you yours just like I gave him his...

    I expected a dis and got some fruity-ass obscurity,
    Abstract and ugly, I'm the diamond, you're an impurity,
    Learn some respect when talking around your superior,
    Get a ladder, step up to me, your chances are ulterior...

    I'm blowing holes in you, call it lyrical homicide,
    Why did you even challenge me, that's called suicide,
    Too easy to get rid of you, all I need is a couple of ditches,
    After I get done with you, your pride is going to require stitches...

    Ignorant and bigoted, you remind me of insects I crush daily,
    Your skills seem inhibited, you're the Arab Nations, I'm an Israeli,
    This is the Seven Minute War, the one you lost,
    You played the game and now pay the cost...

    You seem like the kind of guy I burn on the hour,
    Conceded, backwards, and an attitude that's sour,
    I could get dirty, I could get mean, but I already won,
    You disappoint me, I thought I taught you better, son...

    "South of Georgia, thank God" far enough away from me,
    Smack you so hard, just by myself, but you swear there was three,
    Running circles around you and I ain't even started,
    As far as your chances go, send regards to the dearly departed...

    A-A-B-B style, as simple as it gets,
    And still shredding you to little bits,
    I don't mean to tout and boast,
    But I'm kicking you from coast-to-coast...

    I don't smoke, but if I did, you'd be in my joint,
    Light you and put you out quick, that's my point,
    Your kindergarten style impresses nobody,
    Ugly, fake, and above all, shoddy...

    In the course of about 15 seconds, I won the game,
    But it's far more fun to put little girls like you to shame,
    Art thou upon my level, twas their ever a doubt in your mind?
    Limp-wristed and fru-fru, act like that and you might get it from behind...

    This is a hip-hop-esque drive by on your Shakespearean facade,
    For you to come back from this would take an act of God,
    Of whom you don't believe in,
    So you best be leaving...

    This is getting bad, this is getting ugly,
    Please, get cozy in this napalm Snuggie,
    Gruesome, blood and guts all over the warehouse wall,
    Freddie Kruger has nothing on me, I'm here to kill them all...

    That hole in your head, that used to be your face,
    So be on your knees and start praying for grace,
    Who's afraid of the fallen winged one? The one with a robot arm,
    The crazy one, running about with a gun ready to cause you harm...

    Wipe your eyes, Sparrow, I hate to see girls cry,
    But pigs like you, turned into pork, smoked and dry,
    It's hot but about to get even worse,
    And I don't have to be belligerent or curse...

    I don't care about you or your feeling,
    This ain't a burning, it's a grilling,
    Smoking out your ear, learn who to fear, I'm the one,
    That smoke ain't out of anger, it's from the smoking gun...

    Rest in pieces, no one is missing you,
    I put you into the ground with a quick one-two,
    I win, you lose, and damn near everyone agrees,
    You're in front of my throne, on your knees...

    Kiss my royal, family jewels little birdy,
    Wipe your mouth, don't get'm dirty,
    Let it be known, throughout my kingdom,
    That if anyone else wants it, bring'm...

    In case you didn't know it, Sparrow, we live in the 21st century and I actually expected more from you... Of course, this is all in good fun and not at all serious :3
     
  3. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    Jesus Christ, is that it... standard four on four line mush?
    It's not even poetry, it's a stupid rap song most rap artists would be embarrassed to release.
    Step it up a notch kid, and knock it off with the limpdick bravado.
     
  4. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    I'm sorry, was that you're attempt at your second poem? I must say, it's a good bit better than the first... But doesn't top mine yet. Please, be my guest and try again... Want to take this to the forum goers themselves and see who beat who?
     
  5. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    The Garden Gate

    Of tales I have few and but one to tell
    of that sprit named Lucy Ravenal

    On a starry moonlit night
    the courtyard hushed cold and quiet
    from out of nowhere stirs the dust
    dressed in silver curtain and amethyst
    Stricken eyes and breath like frost
    A soul mired in molasses and gauze
    Gliding past locked window and door
    off to where the winds of limbo roar

    By clockwork on her nightly stroll
    unblinking steps down the garden path
    And where the wall is built in new
and is of ivy bare

    She will pause... then open and pass through
    a gate that once was there
     
  6. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    Seriously? Fine, I'll beat you at your own game then :rolleyes:...

    Days Gone By...

    Years have been sand in an hourglass,
    Meaningless moments of life, come to pass,
    Sometimes it seems like only yesterday she left,
    With his heart and mind, the epitome of theft...

    Sick with guilt, burdened by worry,
    There will be no happy end to his story,
    Storms settle in gray eyes,
    Rain falls from monochrome skies...

    A fate worse than death, sentenced long before,
    To sit here, alone, jaded, hollow to the core,
    Embittered and defeated, what is left in life,
    But to suffer the day away in agony and strife...

    Ashamed of it all, embarrassed to even breath,
    There is more pain within than one can conceive,
    If only he could go back, to undo what has been done,
    But he learned from the best, like father, like son...

    Destined from the start, to lose it all,
    Evanescent is the pride, leading to a fall,
    Murky water, clouded perception, the mind fails,
    In comparison, the rising tide shall become pale...

    The mind can not comprehend,
    And the heart can not mend,
    For the edges of the hole are jagged,
    And the will has become useless, ragged...

    The sands run short, and before long,
    This poor, dead man will not sing this song,
    Reckoning of sins in a disturbed past,
    This breath will be the very last...

    ~~~

    Also, if you're not even going to try to put some sort of effort into your posts, we can just stop now. Your 'poetry' can be compared to modern day 'abstract art'. It is foolish to think a stew of fancy words squashed together into story-esque format counts for poetry...
     
  7. I. R. Shogun

    I. R. Shogun Midnight Demon

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    Do a villanelle sparrow! You won't!
     
  8. The peoples champion

    The peoples champion The peoples champion

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    Ray Captain that is really good. Your form has improved since the last time I read your work. I see the fact you were fired up at Sparrow brought out the best in you. Job well done man.
     
  9. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    ... that was much better RayCaptain, I liked that poem... it had depth, a bit overwrought emotionally for my tastes, but damn good.




    Spinner

    So you thought you could look beyond what eyes see
    someone up there pulling strings on your destiny
    like to tell you but don't know how to begin
    you've been left out to twist in the wind

    Saw a spider hanging by a thread
    not once falling from its web
    has it even thought to pray
    no not ever it simply spins away

    A walk along the seashore this morning
    came upon a gull no longer soaring
    was caught in a fisherman's net
    its flight above the strand interrupted

    Sweet imagination no one can take
    pull up the covers it's getting late
    close the book of make believe
    shut the light and fall asleep
    inside you is the trace of a ghost
    where the golden glows
    you are the Lord of the Strings
    outside your window the wind blows

    it's just the beat of dragon wings
     
  10. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    On the Way Down...

    Power, power, unending and absolute,
    It rots, decays, destroys my very root,
    Strength, unequaled and purified,
    The reason that men have died...

    Power, power, accept no other,
    For it I'll kill you, or even my brother,
    Voices, so loud, quietly going mad,
    Delve deep into madness, no, I'm glad...

    Honor, respect, of which I have none,
    Everything I want, take it with a gun,
    God, forsaken, wings that no longer sore,
    The blood, the flesh, the unforgettable gore...

    Power, power, I will have it all,
    But on the way up, surely I fall,
    The beat, so strong, it pulses in your mind,
    Gears, of metal, what a sickening grind...

    Power, power, life is not for the weak,
    Your mind, so fragile, the outcome is bleak,
    To tear, away, all that makes you whole,
    A gasp, for air, power takes its tole...

    This beat, so strong, you feel it in your brain,
    Triumph, is sound, with nothing left to gain,
    I paid, the price, my soul to the machine,
    To own, not love, all I have ever seen...

    Power, power, it's slipping out of hand,
    Control, long gone, through fingers like sand,
    With tooth, and nail, I try to hold on,
    But this, it's all, it's all long gone...

    And now I hear nothing, not the slightest sound,
    Because now, I am on the way down...
     
  11. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    Molly & LaRue

    When singing songs of scaryness of bloodyness and nastyness...
    I feel obligated at this moment to remind you,
    of one Molly Macintosh and her friend named LaRue.
    Molly is my niece and that's fine with me, but her friend takes some getting used to.
    LaRue is a dragon or monster or some sort of beast,
    lives in the sewers down under the streets.
    He'll let you sit inside his mouth, if you knock on his chin he'll let you in,
    but I rather doubt he'll let you back out.

    So don't mess with little Molly or you will have to deal with her pet,
    she's only six and not scary at all, but her friend is the most ferocious I've ever met.
    He eats acorns and bacon fat and things I can't mention,
    has horrible table manners and never strong on pretension.
    He's green and blue and dripping with goo,
    the sewer monster Molly calls LaRue -

    that's standing right behind you.
     
  12. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    Blinded by Death...

    Prideful, arrogant, stuck in your ways,
    You travel in circles for days and days,
    Blessings of the razor, but the pain stays...

    Blinded by hate, believe the science of lies,
    Even while you breath, inside of you dies,
    Your kind lead the most meaningless lives...

    As long as you draw breath,
    You are blinded by death...

    Mortality brings upon the pride,
    Let it lead you, let it be a guide,
    Into the raging surf and rising tide...

    Cover to cover, read the story of your loss,
    Inheritor of death, you, who live without a cause,
    Now take all that you are and nail it to a cross...

    Your ears have been dipped in blood,
    Beating heart pumps filth and mud,
    Sand under you feet, here comes the flood...

    Washed away under it all, no longer drawing breath,
    But did you see the truth? Or were you blinded by death?
     
  13. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    Bird Hunt...

    Call me back woods, but I'm getting a hankering,
    To dish out on this turkey that I'm spanking,
    It isn't even a contest, I'm dancing on your grave,
    Smack you round the head, why don't you behave?

    Oh you mad cause I'm styling on you,
    Shot him out of the sky, now you're stew,
    We took the dogs out on a bird hunt,
    The cause of death, head trauma, blunt...

    Man, you wish you was the champ,
    Panties all in a wad, the backside damp,
    Anally retentive, just bashing without incentive,
    This is an ass-whooping I want you to relive...

    Whack job behind a keyboard,
    WoW is down so you're bored,
    Hating on artists with more skill than you have chins,
    I've seen your trash, what you write belongs in bins...

    I know you're feeling my beat, puffy cheeks all red,
    Wish you was feeling the heat, get it through your head,
    Get your Frenchy on, just surrender,
    I like all the clowns better, even Ender...

    Excuse while I go repent for feeding a troll,
    Excuse you to go pick hairs out of your mole,
    Why do you have to be like that, Sparrow?
    Bitter heart with an outlook so narrow...

    So here's the nitty gritty,
    Your reputation is itty bitty,
    Getting on folks' last nerve,
    About to get what you deserve...

    Tough guy behind the computer screen,
    A neck beard unlike any ever seen!
    Do us all a great big favor,
    Drano, tell us the flavor...

    Sorry this isn't pretty, posh, and pristine,
    But, when you're around, I just get mean,
    Now please, exit stage left like the Pink Panther,
    And don't even think of giving my rhyme and answer...

    Dear, Sparrow, get on your way,
    Hope you're not coming to stay,
    Sincerely, the TFF community,
    To this, we agree, in unity...
     
  14. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    sparrow wins
     
  15. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    **** yourself Kakashi -.-;
     
  16. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    I usually write poems that rhyme but in this case I won't give Sparrow the happiness for that.So Sparrow here's my poem:

    "F*ck off."
     
  17. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    The Poet

    They say his Mother's a whore
    of his Father we know little more
    but that he loathed his only sorry son
    punished him for things he hadn't done
    Such was his circumstance he began to write
    unpleasant poetry by day and by night
    Whatever worse is difficult to imagine
    the passive prose of the one they call Captain
    He wrote of dark moods and horrible betrayals
    not a Ray of sunshine was ever his tales
    Pictures he painted with verse most black
    beware the English language is under attack
    Like the winter wind his rhyming blows
    the wounded rage and all the stones he throws
    If all the words were turned to bullets
    I'd bless the day and all the dead poets
    Words like bolts of lead out of my mind
    you're looking down the barrel of a chrome 45

    Was it that you wanted to duel my friend...
    well then welcome to the Lion's Den.




    The Trollop

    So there's a girl he met on the internet
    not too bright a young lass I bet
    I've heard of such things I know it's not rare
    my god it's happening everywhere
    The word is about she's taking a trip
    four thousand miles to visit a limpdick
    Heaven knows she'll have to reverse the roles
    come visit down in Dixie and I'll fill in the holes
    There's a nine on my cloud and I'll say it out loud
    honey I'll **** you proper and make you so proud
    Oh darling you'll need an OB/GYN doctor
    cuz I'm waving my wand like Harry Potter

    Now you know what you've found
    I'm a nigga from the waste down
     
  18. Kakashi

    Kakashi The Fighters Guide House Member

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    hahahaahhahahahahaha
     
  19. RayCaptain

    RayCaptain 如朱

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    Ha! Look who finally grew a pair. How does it feel to be out of your tights?

    The One and Only...

    Want to see me taste my own medicine,
    But don't think I don't hear you spit again,
    Don't think I took a loss, just shook it off,
    This guy with Santorum out his ass, look at the froth...

    You think your big, with candy-ass rhymes your bending,
    Maybe for that a dollar more you can get a "happy ending",
    Down by the dumps you live near,
    Shut your mouth, you little queer...

    Like I said before, you're way down there,
    Far away from any common sense, so I fear,
    So you think you're safe from the one and only,
    The one who leaves little b*tches like you lonely...

    Forgetting my name is the best thing to do,
    Don't care about your family, they'll rest with you,
    That's why I'm not bringing two barrels instead of one,
    Let my rhymes flow from the end of a naughty shotgun...

    You messed with the man who wreaks of glory,
    Who fills his head with thoughts so awful and gory,
    Who doth the bell toll for? It tolls for thee,
    Don't rest in one piece, how about three?

    Now, despite how much I hate to see a grown man cry,
    I love to see little parasites like you squirm and die,
    Now just know that you best check under your bed,
    Could've just had a laugh but you gotta get dead...

    Maybe I'll wait ten years,
    Just for ten times the tears,
    Because it'll be me, the big R-A-Y, up in your house,
    And I'll redecorate your room with all the pieces of your spouse...

    Dangling from the walls and ceiling, covered in barbed wire,
    You think it's a game, shaking the dog's cage, things get dire,
    The only part of you that's a "nigga" is in your brain,
    Remind me of Reverend Al Sharpton, only in it for your own gain...

    And don't get me started if you have a kid,
    Leave them in the trashcan, forget the lid,
    Hot summer's day and you'll be able to smell them,
    "I love you" is something you'll never be able to tell them...

    I wonder if your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth,
    And I think I know why you'll stay down there, way down south,
    Because you know I will run until I catch you,
    Never seen someone so ferocious, I bet you...

    You want to make this a Lion's Den,
    Call me David and repent of your sin,
    Now tell me something I don't know bout mi familia,
    Cherokee by decent, scalping is real familiar...

    And I've never behead a fool but I hear it's a kick,
    But I'm a little worried, what if he tried to suck my d*ck?
    Strange to see, even worse to tell,
    But this is all you'll ever be, before you go to Hell...

    Your soul? It's mine,
    And then, when it's time,
    A knock at the door,
    A quarter past four...

    Boom boom, see you sprawled out all over the ground,
    Boom boom, Oh my God, what music is that sound?
    But! Beyond the bloody lyrics, I'm cool,
    Serene, calm, and laughing at this fool...

    No really, the smile on my face is thanks to you,
    Hell, if this keeps up I might split a side or two,
    Little guy got jokes, granted they ain't too good,
    Probably a little white boy who 'never been in da hood'...

    But that's alright, fun and games,
    Just the bird and the one who maims,
    Here was your dose of serious,
    Now I gotta think of something delirious...

    Funny raps ain't my style,
    But for this old-ass pedophile,
    Maybe I could whip a little something up,
    Toby Keith, drink the kool-aid from this red solo cup...
     
  20. Kally

    Kally Driving my own destiny.

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    awe this one is my fave so far
    I love Harry Potter