Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship ....

Discussion in 'Polls' started by Anduil, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

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    Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship or get a divorse?

    Yes or No and why....

    I am listening!
     
  2. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    IMO it depends on the 2 involved, not to sound sappy but under many circumstances the situation can be overcome if both are willing to recommit and seek guidance from a counsellor. however, this all depends on whether there is still love and trust in the relationship.

    first thing is for the "cheater" to admit responsibility, too many times the " you havent been there for me" excuse is used, and using guilt on the loyal partner is a defense mechanism which is bound to lead to a degradation of the relationship
     
  3. Kelmourne

    Kelmourne The Savage Hippy

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Yes, I have no tolerance for that kind of shit. Letting her get away with it means she will be more willing to do it again, not just to you but to everyone she will ever be in a relationship with. If enough people do this enough number of times, society as a whole views cheating alot more lightly, and nobody wants that.
     
  4. Vakanai

    Vakanai New Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    I am very against cheating and infidelity. It's just a terrible, terrible break of trust. So it's up there on reasons to break up.
     
  5. Feidai

    Feidai Put some spleen into it.

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    I find a change or loss of feelings is a much greater reason for breaking up. Yes a councillor can probably fix it, but sometimes it's better to just let go before the side that no longer feels the same way turns to infidelity. Forcing those people to go see a councillor can back-fire and just make the relationship more stifling for them. Although this might be my top reason, it's rarely used or the person gets pressured to keep trying, and so the cheating happens.
     
  6. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    I think it really depends and its important to also underline that there is a big difference between a weekend/holiday fling and a more serious cheating relationship (though I fully accept that the first can develop into the latter).

    Personally I'm of the opinion that humans, by design, are not specifically made to live in totally singular relationships and that the concept of marriage is a social, not so much a biological factor. This means that the chance of "cheating" is there in almost any relationship.


    However I would say that a bigger reason for divorce isn't so much cheating, the cheating itself is a symptom not a direct cause. Its a symptom of change, either in one partner or both which results in the pair starting to diverge their similarities (or might even result in a smothering of one over the other if their similarities strengthen too much). Where this is the case counselling can sometimes help to pull things together as it aims to rekindle the older parts that started the relationship.
    However age and time can change people in ways that they don't want to or are mostly unable to revert back to - in other words they reach a point where the relationship is no longer right for them.

    This is why I'm somewhat supportive of the idea that relationships should be allowed to be a more fluid feature of life rather than so strict (let us remember that much of the strict enforcement of marriage isn't so much religion as social and linked often to power/money/influence). Please don't view that I'm saying that all relationships should split up as soon as something gets a little stormy or rocky, but that the option should be there for consideration and that it shouldn't carry the social stigma and isolation that it can in some cultures should the couple split.


    Also - interestingly - since the recession started in teh UK the number of divorces decreased - its expensive you see ;)


    So in summary - infidelity isn't always the cause of a relationship breakup; change is the cause, however infidelity is often a symptom of the change and often also a trigger which pulls the emotions into the fore-front and sparks the separation.
     
  7. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship


    It depends on whose infidelity, mine or hers.

    If I cheat, and get caught, than I'd hope there's some room for forgiveness.
    If my woman cheats, and I find out about it, than it's all over. Her thoughts and mind belong to her; I have no love of money so all I have is hers for the taking... but her vagina belongs to me and me alone.


    It's been my experience witnessing other breakups, friends and family and acquaintances, that it's at least as often due to money as it is infidelity. People get very wound up over money, or the lack there of.
     
  8. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Okay... I don't get the difference here.
    You want her to forgive you but wouldn't forgive her? Where's the difference?
    Or was that concealed sarcasm?
     
  9. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Really I don't know,but I think it's one of the main reasons.As for a divorce I think it's not the number one reason nowadays,but one of the reasons generally.I think people becoming "bored" of each other or realizing that they don't match together or due to a lot of problems they divorce.
     
  10. ~Elladan~

    ~Elladan~ A Elbereth Gilthoniel

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Depends on where you live I suppose.

    In the UK infidelity has fallen to #2 (25%) in the charts, #1 (27%) goes to 'growing apart/falling out of love' which is code for you've bored each other for long enough, having a headache and I'm social networking just don't cut it as excuses anymore. #3 (17%) was 'unreasonable behaviour'.

    Putting the 3 together ~ you're really boring, I can't be arsed to make an effort either based on past experience(s) so I'm off to get some excitement / satisfaction elsewhere. :)
     
  11. jake1964

    jake1964 Old enough to be your dad

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Shouldn't you have known your spouse-to-be was an infidel before you married them?

    That being said, mixed marriages require a lot of tolerance and understanding of the differences in each others beliefs.

    :devilspin:devilspin:devilspin:devilspin:D
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2011
  12. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    As far as i can read in the thread, most of you think that infidelity is a bad thing but it is not (the pull trigger situation) to end the relationship. And infidelity alone can't make the damage, but it is needed to have other problems as well to end up the relationship.

    What are the other problems, that need to cooperate with infidelity to destroy a relationship? (already mentioned some but you need to be more specific)
     
  13. Blackness

    Blackness Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    In a monogamous relationship, yes, it would most definitely be a reason for a break up, as the unconditional trust (which is implied) is broken, and in most cases there is no way of getting it back.
    On the other hand, I fail to understand why, in a world full of polygamous people, almost all marriages are monogamous. I also fail to understand why polygamous relationships don't have a legal status. Silly irrationality.
     
  14. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    No he's just a phallocratic pig.A lot of men are.
     
  15. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    Free from Sparrow - I thought that kind of men had died out in western civilization - or at least not have discovered the internet yet.
     
  16. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    I hate the whole "man is cool if he has sex with lots with women but a woman who has sex with lots of man is a slut".The same goes for cheating a woman.Actually the best thing to do if you find out that your girlfriend or boyfriend has cheated on you is to talk about it and see if you have not been good enough for him,if you made him look for some things in other women/men because you neglected him/her or didn't match with on some things.
    If that's not the case and you are in love with that person forgive them and try to renew your relationship or something.If you don't want to...then just break up and say "well you obviously found what you were looking for so I'm off now,take care".
     
  17. Sparrow

    Sparrow Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship


    Most women still need a strong man. It's not even a matter of dominance, it's Darwinian to the core. A strong man is still necessary in raising children that are fit and ready for society.

    Oh how our modern cultural tries it's level best to emasculate men into "stay-at-home-dads", or worse, romantic fools searching for that 'one' special mate. Screw that; my woman's vagina belongs to me, my penis belongs to the world.
     
  18. Foinikas

    Foinikas Playing backgammon!

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    There's a difference between being a strong man and being an ***hole.Being a good man for your wife or girlfriend and being a selfish moron.
     
  19. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship

    without reading everyone's posts I'll say this.. I've a few long term relationships.. the one that weren't long term.. (less than a year) I wont get into.

    long term number one (2 years) cheated on me cos she went out to a party cos i was sick and got knocked up by a random guy.. she didn't tell me and he did a few months later.. that was great.. I was 16. Nice hey

    second long term (2 years) Also cheated on me I was 18 hah

    third long term. (3 nearly 4 years) broke up cos we were living together and both our group of mates hated each other.. we tried to get along but it caused too many problems.. we broke up on bad terms but we talk again now.

    fourth long term. (3 years) went out with her for a short stint in between 2nd and 3 third long term and broke up after a few months then caught up and went out longer but same problems arose, so I ditched her :(

    I've had multiple relationships since but cant find the right girl :( had to ditch them all.

    I feel bad but hey..


    then my ex's come back and say.. stupid shit like "you're the best root I've had I've changed since then blah blah"... it isnt cool
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2011
  20. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

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    Re: Do you think that infidelity is the number one reason to break up a relationship


    many times the right girl is outthere but we never look at the good girls...