Devin

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Rosgwak, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. Rosgwak

    Rosgwak The Masked Warrior

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    Well, this is a poem I wrote recently for my girl, Devin, and I just felt like putting it up cos... I dunno, I can? LOL, nah, any feedback anyone may have will be greatly welcomed, I'm always looking to improve my poetic technique. :D And yes, I am well aware some parts are not entirely grammatically correct, but we must use artistic license. :p

    Your voice is everything I hear
    Your face is all I see.
    Your gentle touch, I long to feel,
    The warmth inside of me.

    Your scent it fills the air I breathe,
    And no matter where I look,
    Love for you is all I feel,
    Because my heart you took.

    You took my soul, my very love,
    And threw away the key,
    I gave to you, all I am
    All that you can see.

    Because you only see my good,
    You do not see my flaws,
    You make me everything I can be,
    And yet I still want more.

    You’ve turned my world, upon its head,
    And I can’t get enough.
    I want to be there next to you,
    And feel your gentle touch.

    Your warm breathe, against my skin,
    I never want to part.
    Your gentle touch, your loving caress,
    Your hand against my heart.

    To feel it race, to make it so,
    As only you can do.
    And so I hope you keep these words,
    And know that I love you.​
     
  2. Dragn9

    Dragn9 Sorcerer Supreme

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    Hey not bad man, I thought it was very good and I didn't notice any grammatically incorrect parts...IMO it flows very nicely...keep up the good work :)
     
  3. Via_Amarth

    Via_Amarth Wicked Me

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    yeah very nice ros! nice flow and pretty words :D I'm sure Devin liked it. didn't she?
     
  4. Rosgwak

    Rosgwak The Masked Warrior

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    Thank you both for your kind words. ^_^

    And yes Via, she liked it so much... I thought I'd made her upset till I remembered people cry when they're happy too. LOL :p
     
  5. AcrobaticHippo

    AcrobaticHippo Determined

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    OMG Ros that's such a lovely poem! It was so sweet of you as well...Devin is a very lucky girl! :D
     
  6. Liadan

    Liadan Insert Title Here

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    Ditto to what Jnanee said :D
     
  7. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    hahaha:p To be honest I'm the lucky, just thankful to have met him *blush* :p He makes me go nuts:p I think about him all the time:p I KNOW I'm the lucky one:p
    Love Always,
    Devin
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2006