Broken Angel 2.0

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Zidane, Sep 10, 2004.

  1. Zidane

    Zidane Master Thief

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    My wings broke,
    When I fell from Grace,
    My feathers no longer white,
    But black as my sin,
    I can no longer fly back to redemption,
    So here I lay,
    With my sinful feathers fallin all about,
    Bleeding on the ground,
    Bleeding away my happiness,my life,mysoul,
    And so I lay waiting for Death to claim me,
    But it nevers come,
    It cruelly leaves me,
    Tormented in this hateful world,
    While I slowly lose myself,
    To the temptations of this Earth,
    So here I lay,
    Wilting like a rose,
    Left for dead on the ground,
    Waiting for the the Flamesof Judgement,
    To consume my being,
    While I lay,
    Bleeding on the ground.

    I don't know if this got any better but at least it's longer.
     
  2. Radagast

    Radagast Art House Member

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    Much better improvement! The length takes it to a higher level.
     
  3. LadyoftheGoldenWood

    LadyoftheGoldenWood Well-Known Member

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    I am with Radagast, it is much better and I like it a lot more too.
     
  4. Zidane

    Zidane Master Thief

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    Thank you very much!