Blonde

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Oct 15, 2009.

  1. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"

    The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"


    CAR TROUBLE

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    < SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">
    She says, "What's the story?"

    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


    0D

    SPEEDING TICKET

    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

    She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



    RIVER WALK

    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



    AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

    "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

    The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;

    likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

    The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

    "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

    "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



    KNITTING

    A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

    Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



    BLONDE ON THE SUN

    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

    The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

    The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

    To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"



    IN A VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

    She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



    FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

    "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
     
  2. Alchemist

    Alchemist The Fighters Guide House Member

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  3. Running Wolf

    Running Wolf Join the Madness

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    :D I hadn't expected that from Turin... :p
     
  4. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    heh heh blondes.
     
  5. Nespa

    Nespa catgirl fantasy lover

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    computer

    a boss asks his new blond secretary "how are you on the computer". she tips her chin with her finger "you know i never did it on the computer.

    puzzle

    George is at work as he get called by his girlfried "hunny it bought this puzzle with a big rooster on it but the pieces don't seem right". George promises her he wil help when he comes home. Later that night george come home "alright show me the puzzle" and his girlfried shows him. george looks at the puzzle and says "sweety just put the cereal back in the box and then we wil not talk about it"

    computer blond

    how do you know a blond has been working on the computer?

    then there is typ-x al over the screen
     
  6. AlphaAlex

    AlphaAlex Official Forum Nuisance

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    that second one is great but has been told 3 times now on various joke threads :p