An Ozland joke - adult rated!

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Overread, Apr 26, 2011.

  1. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    East Greenwich, RI
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    XD
    Well, how old does one have to be to post here? I will honestly tell you my true age, but I'd like to know what the age requirement is first.

    So....






















































    ...How about that airline food?
     
  2. Julie

    Julie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,293
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Belgium
    Ratings:
    +41 / 0 / -0
    Is there an age requirement?
     
  3. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    6,537
    Likes Received:
    232
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    UK
    Ratings:
    +342 / 1 / -0
    13 years or older to agree to the TC on the site (or unless you get an adult to help you).

    Otherwise you just have to be older than X and taller than Y and remember to feed the wolves to be a TFF member.
     
  4. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    East Greenwich, RI
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Oh good. I'm 15, so I guess I'm allowed to post here.
     
  5. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2009
    Messages:
    7,088
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Scotland.
    Ratings:
    +64 / 0 / -0
    YES! Another 15-year-old. You have to be 15, and taller than 6'1" to post here. And you have to have given all your greetings cookies to the wolves, so you can run away when they're angry (they get fat)
     
  6. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    East Greenwich, RI
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Okay.

    Wait, is the height really required?

    Anyway, here's a good one...

    A DOG NAMED SEX

    Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him *rover* or *spot*. I called mine *sex*. Now sex has been very embarrassing to me when I went to the city hall to renew the dog's license for sex. I told the clerk I'd like a license for sex he said. "I would like to have one too!". Then I said, "she is a dog!!". He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "you don't understand. I had sex since I was 9 years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

    When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "but sex has played a big part in my life and my life revolves around sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the justice of peace. My family was barred from the church then on.

    When my wife and went on out honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "me too!"

    One day I entered sex in a contest. But before the competition began, sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand!!" I said. "I hoped to have sex on TV!!". He called me a show off.

    When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "your honour. I had sex before I was married, but sex left me after I was married." The judge said, "me too!!"

    Last night, sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up next Thursday.

    Well now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with my psychiatrist, she asked me, "what seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "sex has been my best friend all of my life but now it has left me forever. I couldn't live any longer. So lonely." The doctor said, "look mister you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend. So get yourself a dog."
     
  7. WildPony

    WildPony New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2011
    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    The Wilderlans
    Ratings:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    This must be one of the best I've seen for a long time! Hahahaha!
     
  8. Anduil

    Anduil New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,052
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Mekta land of dreams! you can find me in Pireaus
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0
    What does this joke -story teaches us? That sex is bad for life???? hehehehehe! no of course not!
     
  9. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2009
    Messages:
    7,088
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Scotland.
    Ratings:
    +64 / 0 / -0
    No, just be careful with names and the way you express yourself
     
  10. Overread

    Overread Wolfing it up! Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    6,537
    Likes Received:
    232
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    UK
    Ratings:
    +342 / 1 / -0

    I can't do magic embedding thingies - so follow the linkie!
     
  11. Druid of Lûhn

    Druid of Lûhn The Little Lamb.

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2009
    Messages:
    7,088
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Scotland.
    Ratings:
    +64 / 0 / -0
    I associate those two to Black Adder
    But that was good!
     
  12. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    East Greenwich, RI
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    What starts with a "come here" and ends with an "OW"?

    come here KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN OW!
     
  13. Zane Fireflyte

    Zane Fireflyte The Persistant Cat Wizard

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    East Greenwich, RI
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!