A note from HR - Rated R

Discussion in 'Joke Board' started by Turin, Sep 26, 2009.

  1. Turin

    Turin Valar Morghulis

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    Dear Employees:

    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

    Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

    We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.




    Number 1


    TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the **** you're doing.






    Number 2


    TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

    INSTEAD OF: She's a ****ing bitch.






    Number 3

    TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

    INSTEAD OF: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?







    Number 4


    TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

    INSTEAD OF: No ****ing way.







    Number 5

    TRY SAYING:Really?

    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shiting me!







    Number 6


    TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.







    Number 7


    TRY SAYING:I wasn't involved in the project.

    INSTEAD OF: It's not my ****ing problem.







    Number 8


    TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

    INSTEAD OF: What the ****?







    Number 9


    TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

    INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.







    Number 10


    TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

    INSTEAD OF: Why the **** didn't you tell me sooner?






    Number 11


    TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...

    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.






    Number 12


    TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

    INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.






    Number 13


    TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.






    Number 14


    TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment..

    INSTEAD OF: **** it, I'm on salary.







    Number 15


    TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass







    Number 16


    TRY SAYING:I love a challenge.

    INSTEAD OF: This ****ing job sucks.






    Number 17


    TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the **** died and made you boss?



    Number 18
    TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.



    Thank You,


    Human Resources
     
  2. Alchemist

    Alchemist The Fighters Guide House Member

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    :p I think I posted this before xD
     
  3. JIM

    JIM zombie Turncoat

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    i liked it lol