3 Poems that I hope people will like

Discussion in 'Fan Poetry' started by Lillith Forbid, May 9, 2005.

  1. Lillith Forbid

    Lillith Forbid Returned Queen of Bondage

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    :littlethi I really hope that I'm not alone in saying that I reallly like these..I chose only 3 of my collection sooo yea. ^.^

    For Ever More

    The cry of a dead boy's scream
    rings through the night.
    The sob of a girl all alone
    Vibrates through the shadows.

    The moans of the lonely,
    The groans of the dead,
    Haunt my thoughts,
    For ever more.

    The sounds of the forgotten
    Stands in my door
    For ever more.
    The sighs of the lost
    Make me sore
    For ever more.

    It all haunts me
    Haunts my thoughts
    Haunts my Dreams
    Haunts my sences
    For ever more.



    Fairy Child

    I once knew a boy
    The exotic kind
    Ears like elves'
    Eyes like orbs
    Full of wonder and amazement.
    His laugh was the river
    As it trickled down the mountain,
    Filling my ears with bliss.
    His soft amber hair
    Like the settling sun
    As It lowered for its nighttime nap.

    I once knew a boy
    with the face of a fairy
    and the hands like one too.
    He laughed; it showed sunlight
    He sobbed; the moon came out
    to mourn with him.

    I once knew a boy
    who could call the birds
    TO his shoulder
    with just a friendly gesture.
    He could touch an animal
    Wild as a vine
    and not a growl
    not a howl
    not a scratch
    would come

    Then he would smile
    His golden smile.

    I once knew a boy
    Who was my friend
    but now he is gone
    long gone
    traveling far
    to search and spread
    his magic
    everywhere.

    I once knew a boy
    Who was never comming back
    But I am happy anyway
    For he is happy
    And I could never hold
    My fairy child back



    Calling

    The wind is calling
    Calling
    Calling
    saying for me to follow
    follow
    follow
    I try to resist it but I can't
    Can't
    Can't
    So I let go
    Go
    Go
    Into the night
    Into the wind
    That is calling
    Calling
    Calling


    SO there ya go ^^ I have more..so I might post some more later..>.>
     
  2. Adina

    Adina <img src=http://www.thefantasyforum.com/images/nub

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    Very nice work Lillith
     
  3. Ohtatyáro

    Ohtatyáro Papa Smurf

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    I really like "Calling", and the way it seems to echo. The repeated words make it seem like the narrator is sitting, thinking, and dwelling on certain thoughts. I also like the idea of the night and the wind calling(calling, calling :) ).

    "For Ever More" reminded me of The Raven by E.A Poe, the lines "Never More" and "For Ever More", so close in sound and rhyme-scheme, so far away in meaning, but both giving the feeling that the narrator is going to be mournful "For Ever More", because something is going to happen "Nevermore".

    "Fairy Child", I also liked, although there's something in the first verse I don't like for some reason. I can't place it. I think it might just be a certain word, or an image I don't feel right about. I'll try to figure it out.

    All in all, good work Lillith. Keep it up!
     
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  4. Lillith Forbid

    Lillith Forbid Returned Queen of Bondage

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    lol wow...in depth comments awsome..thanks for the comments ohtatyaro and adina ^_^
     
  5. Lady Dark Moon

    Lady Dark Moon Goddess of Black Magic

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    I like the first one. it's mysterious and leaves you thinking of what the writer's talking about.
     
  6. waterchiq713

    waterchiq713 New Member

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    wow,
    that Fairy Child poem was wounderful. I thought it was really good, it made me wanna keep on reading the poem :) :p well I don't know what else to say :p I just love reading poems :p But don't like to tell people what could help them :p Only because of people who write peoms has their unique styles :p :) great poem :) Love Devin
     
  7. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    I love these poems...they're similar to the kind that I write, the style I mean. I like the themes you've chosen.
     
  8. Omega3R

    Omega3R Mi ne sijemo.

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    “525 600 минут.”

    The suns are weeping in the night;
    They have lost their everlasting fight-
    (Still- they claim they were right!)
    And the silent moons are thrown away-
    As they sway, as they sway.

    See the stars twinkle upon the sky!
    Listen to an angel play his sweet cor anglais!
    You know, once we all must die-
    As we sway, as we sway...

    Sleep with flowers, kiss the fire-
    Do what you would never dare!
    Look at the stars- forming a choir-
    Who will care? Will you care?

    As we are trapped in the symphony’s destructive lust;
    (We cannot escape, no!, no way!)
    Our lives lost between the pages three and four
    Left us with no dreams as our faces burn to dust,
    (As we sway, as we sway...)
    Drunken on the sea, without any solid shore...

    Painted music will always remain there, mute and dead.
    There will be no past to call for help instead-
    Our eyes will bleed, and our hands will turn to stone.
    And the sea will remain forever grey.
    We will stay all alone
    As we sway, as we sway.
     
  9. Wing Rider

    Wing Rider Psychotic Cybernetica

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    This stuff gets better and better. That last poem is the best so far.
     
  10. Borael

    Borael Prophet of Arka

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    I like your poems they are very good, ive never been one to do poetry but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy others! good job!
     
  11. BBallForLife

    BBallForLife New Member

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    All of your poems are great.